Cinzia is 55 years old. After studying languages, at 26 she married and at 30 she had her first daughter, Laura. After many years of marriage and three children, she has divorced and is now trying  to reinvent herself as a free-lance interpreter and translater. She is realizing how much she has always relied on her husband for money management and many other aspects; now she is dealing with it, rediscovering herself as a woman and as a mother. She always finds a way to create something new because she believes in relationships with others. Once passionate and feminist, she is brushing up her passions. #gentlefighter 

 

 

December 15th

Cinzia closes her eyes and leans her head on the wooden headrest of the sauna. She is naked and feels at ease, she smiles thinking about how, when she was a girl, before having Laura, she felt embarrassed to be completely naked in front of other people. Now, after three pregnancies and many battles, she feels at home in her body.

She is in a resort in the Dolomites at a yoga retreat with some of her yoga classmates. They are now friends, all of them have gone through divorce, and this made them immediately united. Of course, this long weekend didn’t cost her little. Every now and then, when relaxation is too much and real life peeks into her thoughts as if it doesn’t want to be forgotten, she thinks about all the problems she’s had since she divorced: ​​paying the bills, managing her relationship with Laura and the two little teenagers, meeting new people, not feeling too old.

And, above all, not feeling guilty of finding time for herself, of being independent and spending some money for herself. Basically, everything she’s let her husband do all these years, she thinks.

Yet, she can only think like that for short intervals. Leaving the sauna, she searches for the line again to send a message to her children’s group chat: Fantastic saun... Delete. It’s beautiful here... Delete. She feels strange talking to them like this.

Is there still food in the fridge? 😊🎂🥙🥐🍟 Did you call grandma? I’ll be back tomorrow. Send.

Then she goes into the room and lies down on the comfortable bed, she will miss this place. She looks at the effects of the sauna in the mirror and pulls the skin of her face to see herself as a girl again. She smiles. She thinks of Anna Magnani’s famous quote: “Leave all my wrinkles, don’t take away even one. It took me forever to make them!”. The guilt feeling disappears again.

Continues.